I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize