I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
