You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
