I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize