Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It was confusing and full of hummus
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For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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