Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize