You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
