I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
