there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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