My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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