dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
