A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize