Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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