I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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