I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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