Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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