ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
