he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
