Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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