i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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