his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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