I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
