It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize