I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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