It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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