im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
