I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
two words: eviction party
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
