That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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