is your mom at the bar?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face