A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
