we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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