This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
