Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You have to summon your inner elephant
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
