too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
