No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
