Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
