capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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