You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
