Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Naked Twister starts at high noon
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
