your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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