Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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