If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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