Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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