Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
