So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
