All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
