Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
