I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
