the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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