shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize