My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
