i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
