His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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