i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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