Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
