I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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