Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
