honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
