What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize