We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Boobs are out for the taking
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
